10 Tips For A First Time Mum To Be
Preparing for your first baby is a truly exciting and one off experience, but it can certainly be overwhelming. Everyone has advice and wants to tell you not to worry so much, and that half the stuff you are thinking of buying isn’t necessary.
I was recently asked what tips I would give myself just before I had Oscar, and it’s really hard just to pick one piece of advice – but I did narrow it down to 10 tips that definitely made a difference to my first few weeks and months of being a first time mum so I thought I’d share. The first half of the list are things to buy (not baby things - that could be a whole other blog!), and the second are things to do in preparation. I hope you find them useful.
1. Invest in a long phone charger cable, two meters minimum. You’ll be spending a few extra hours sat on the sofa, or held up in bed, and there is nothing worse than not having enough phone battery or being restricted to sitting super close to the plug socket. I bought two of these and one stayed in my hospital bag - although I had a homebirth I wanted to be prepared in case I ended up in hospital at any point and worried about where a socket would be vs where my bed could be!
2. Get a water bottle with a straw, and prepare your other half to hear you ask for it to be refilled many, many, many times a day. Breastfeeding is thirsty work, and even if you don’t chose to breastfeed you might be stuck under a sleeping baby for hours and keeping hydrated needs to be a priority. I don’t know what it is about a straw but it definitely makes me drink more so it’s worth investing in a bottle with one.
3. Nursing sleep bras are essential. I was advised by a friend to make sure I had the best support possible to keep my boobs from sagging after having a baby! Thanks to COVID I never actually managed to get a proper bra fitting during pregnancy or after, but if you can then do. However, you don’t want to wear the same one 24/7, and at night whilst you still want support, and the ability to secure breast pads, but also have easy access to feed your baby then I cannot recommend the Medela Nursing Sleep Bra any higher. There are no clips to faff around with and they are beyond comfy (even on engorged boobs with cracked nipples), I bought one black and one white, and I still wear mine now 15 months on!
4. Buy the next 3 months birthday cards (and presents). Getting prepared will really pay off because you have no idea how you will feel, if you will be able to physically get to a shop, and moreover your mind is going to be preoccupied with all things baby for a little while. I even posted most of the cards early too (and put the opening date on the back), so I knew I didn’t even need to worry about getting to a post box. Try somewhere online like Moonpig where you can schedule the delivery date to the future as well. You’ll look like a superhuman, with a new born and still ‘remembering’ all the important dates outside your baby bubble.
5. Top up on non-bio washing detergent and softener, and make sure your partner knows how to use the washing machine, and tumble dryer! Doing a daily load will become the norm for the new born days, and the last thing you want to be worrying about is running out of liquitabs or conditioner. Poundshop online do good deals to buy in bulk, or take a trip to B&M or Costco to bag a bargain. Sharing the load (literally) is going to be key too, for a while it’s not going to be your job to pick up dirty clothes off the floor, if need be write out what each setting means and when to use it so you aren’t disturbed with washing related questions when you are concentrating on being a new mum.
Beyond all the things to buy there are a few tips on getting prepared too. I promise future you is going to be grateful if you follow even just one of these tips.
6. Batch cook! If you’ve got a freezer big enough then get cooking now – I promise you, you and your partner will be so grateful in the first few weeks of being new parents! Batch cooking means you know that no matter how tired you are, or what the time is, you can eat some home cooked, nutritious food in a matter of minutes. It also means that even if you partner isn’t a top chef, they can still rustle up a good meal for you without you leaving the sofa. These foil containers are perfect for two big portions of whatever you cook and stack neatly in the freezer. Check out my go to batch cooking recipes here!
7. Set visitor rules now. It’s a great idea to make sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to visitors. With or without a pandemic there will be plenty of people wanting to come and meet your new addition, but if you aren’t comfortable, or already worrying about what hosting visitors will be like then set some boundaries you’ll be comfortable asking others to keep. I asked that whilst cuddles were fine no one should kiss Oscar (we were in the height of the pandemic). I also requested that guests bring food, preferably something to eat with us, and a meal for us to eat later! Honestly I know it might seem demanding but everyone who visited loved being able to do something for us, and we really appreciated the effort.
8. Prepare for birth. I guess this is obvious and I don’t need to say too much on it, but I’d definitely recommend you prioritise some quality time preparing for the actual birth. Not just writing out your birth preferences, and attending NCT classes, but working on birth affirmations, and repeatedly visualising your birth in a positive way. Understanding more about the physiology of birth can help some people, and understanding what options you have about pain relief, inductions, birth positions, and afterbirth support, will all help you feel more prepared and in control of what’s about to happen.
9. Pack your comfort kit. Weather you are having a homebirth like me, or know you’ll be happiest in hospital there is a lot to be said about creating a comfort kit. I thought I had everything packed until I watched an Instagram TV talk by Lucy Flow Yoga which helped me really collect up the essentials that would make me as comfortable as possible. It’s made up of a select few items that will be separate to the rest of your hospital bag, but can be quickly whipped out and used to set the scene, mood and ambiance of your birth environment. Lucy has so many other incredible and informative IGTV talks I’d recommend watching as many as you can before the big day.
10. Stop watching the news! From here on you need to create a positive bubble around yourself, your baby, and your mind. Switch off the news and the BBC alerts, pick playlists with happy tracks, watch films with happy endings, and read only positive birth stories. Ask friends, partners and family not to bring in the negativity or drama, it’s not that you don’t care or don’t want to know, but hearing about money worries or work issues can take you down a negative path that won’t help you or the baby in the last few weeks of pregnancy. There is a lot of anxiety that first time mums can feel going into the unknown of labour, birth and motherhood, so this one is important. Protect yourself and your mind set, and keep things positive.
I’d love to know what tips you’d give yourself or another first time mum to be.
