My Positive Birth Story
In the run up to the big day I’d completed an informative NCT course (run by Anne Fawcett) and an empowering hypnobirthing course (with The Parent Tribe). I also watched every Instagram live on Lucy Flow Yoga Birth profile to learn more about birth and my options.
As soon as homebirth’s became available again (during the 2020 global pandemic) and as I visualised the birth I wanted more and more I knew being at home would keep me calm and keep that oxytocin flowing for a natural birth.
A wonderful homebirth midwife, Debbie, came and visited and talked us through everything, she listened to our wishes, and answered all our questions. When she left I felt so confident it was the right decision for us. In light of the current global pandemic our home had become the safest place we knew, so it just made sense to be in the safest place for the birth of our son.
“I felt so confident that homebirth was the right decision for us”
At 38 weeks pregnant, I was on my weeks holiday before maternity leave started and I managed to finally see my mum, and then my two best friends surprised me one afternoon for a socially distanced catch up in the garden. It was exactly what I needed and I was so touched they’d arranged it with by husband as a surprise. Because of the pandemic I’d missed out on an in-person baby shower or any sort of get together, or even any normal girly shopping trips or coffees whilst in my third trimester.
It had dawned on me that so few people had seen me pregnant, I’d had so few conversations about my bumps and the kicks I felt and all that stuff. So as they left one friend turned to me and said “It’s ok, now I’ve seen you with your big bump you can have the baby”. It was weird, but it was like it was the permission I needed, because as she walked away I felt this wave of calm come over me, I felt my shoulders drop and an internal agreement like “yes, I’ve seen everyone I wanted to, and now I’m ready for the baby”.
Just two days later my ‘show’ happened around 5am and then after a short walk that afternoon, some ball bouncing (pictured above), and last minute nesting, my waters broke at 10pm – just as I sat down on the sofa to watch TV.
The triage midwives at our hospital were so helpful and reassuring I went to bed excited about what might happen... and it wasn’t long before the surges started! Sporadically at first and then they became more frequent and intense. My husband attempted to track them but there wasn’t ever much regularity and certainly it never felt there was that much time in between them if I’m honest.
In fact the intensity and increased frequency were not as I imagined the early stage of labour being at all – I was expecting to be able to do some baking, watch a film, do a crossword (I had so much planned!). Instead it was intense quite quickly, and we never even plugged in the fairy lights!
I tried using the TENS machine but actually found it made me more tense for the coming contraction so we ended up taking it off again after an hour or so. I was also sick a few times but knew that it was a super common symptom of early labour and my body was doing everything it should be.
“The hypnobirthing breathing techniques were incredible and worth the practice I’d put in. ”
The up-breath visualisation was definitely the most valuable, I concentrated through each surge focusing on what direction my muscles were going in and pictured bubbles in a glass of fizzy water as my husband described them to me. It sounds so simple but it took huge concentration each time a surge came but it meant I coped without pain relief until the midwives arrived with gas and air.
We called the homebirth midwives at 5am as I didn’t feel there was much time between contractions anymore and they had certainly got more intense. Neither of us had slept, and I think quite relieved that once the midwives heard me having two surges within five minutes they offered so came straight out.
They arrived 45 minutes later and by 6am I was examined and told I was 4cm dilated. It was hard not to worry that things felt so intense whilst at just 4cm, but I knew going down the ‘road to panicville’ at that point was going to do me no good, and in actual fact labour could speed up anytime too. The midwife did a small sweep during the examination which I hadn’t anticipated and didn’t find comfortable at all, but it did the trick, and soon enough things were happening fast. Within the hour I must have become fully dilated as I transitioned to the next stage of labour feeling like my body was trying to push without me actively doing anything – so it was all hands on deck to fill the pool whilst I stayed on the toilet concentrating hard on my down breath now.
The homebirth team were incredible, supporting both me and my husband. They guided me when I struggled to catch my breath through the powerful surges and reassured me (and my husband) that we were safe and baby was calm too.
At this point I felt the benefits of the affirmations I’d had stuck up around the house and listened to every night - when my husband and the midwives used them during my surges they really resonated because I’d read them and heard them so many times in the weeks before.
My body totally knew what to do and needed no guidance on when or how to push – it was just happening and I surrendered and trusted it with every breath.
“I never thought I’d feel so empowered and confident about my body or my baby. ”
With some gas and air and the incredible support from the midwives (by this time there were 4 there (Sarah, Debbie, Rachel and Tara) as the shift change was happening!), I was into the pool at 7am and the last surges happened on all fours in the warm water, whilst holding my husbands hand, and looking into his eyes as our son crowned and then came out. I will never forget that moment.
Oscar was born at 7:23am. I lifted him out of the water and onto my chest where he had a good look at the lovely midwives, gave a little gurgle and rested on my chest contently. He didn’t cry. It was overwhelming, empowering, incredible and magical. My husband watched us with his hand over his mouth as he cried with joy. The pictures of that moment are something I will treasure forever. Thank goodness the extra midwives took our phones and snapped away!
My skin to skin time, delayed cord clamping and some privacy for the three of us as a brand new family unit were all completely respected in the following hour.
I still cannot believe I had the birth I had visualised, I feel very lucky and so grateful to Miriam and Lucy who taught me it was completely possible to achieve it, and the SASH homebirth team who made it such a positive experience. ‘Thank you’ doesn’t feel like enough gratitude for what they all helped us achieve on the day our son came into the world.
